Everyone's a critic

Had somehting interesting happen today, figured it would make a good post. While sitting at my desk with my other co-workers someone came ot the desk and stated that they wanted to know how to change their password. Since no one else wanted to volunteer to help out the user who needed help I volunteered. I told them the proper procedure for changing their password but due to where we work most users go to log into their accounts this would not be the best way. I informed the user that the best way to do this would be to change it at the desk. The user declined, and left the office. Suddenly, NOW everyone is involved and a critic. My coworkers felt that I should have forced the user to change their password. The lesson here is if you don't want to help someone in the first place, don't be a critic when someone else helps them.

So this is it, Wecome to the New Near

I cannot believe that its been an entire year since I posted. Oh how far down the rabbit path we have come. I guess I will have to do bullet points as best I can remember them to really encompass how amazing this year has been.

1. I got a new job at MICROS
2. We found, planned, and executed a wedding that went off on June 18th
3. Did I mention we got married?!
4. We got a puppy
5. WE FINNALY GOT A PUPPY

New Life, the Doan family grows

Well, I guess I should start this by apologizing for not having posted more this year. It was a very busy year for me. In addition to this my love of all things twitter continues to grow. But let me not beat around the bush and get to the point of things. My brother has welcomed his first child into the world, Lucas Robert Doan was born today about 12:30 and he is a wonderful baby boy. I can't make this a long entry but all I can do is say that I am very excited for my brother, and I wish him and his wife all the best.

M

There are a couple reasons that Best Buy does not carry Vizio products. To begin with most people don't know where Vizio comes from. Here is what I have heard, LG makes the Vizio panels, but not specifically. You see, when a LCD panel comes off the production line you can grade it A-F like grade school. LG only uses the A and B LCD's and sends the C and D panels to the California based company Vizio. They then put them in their TV's. Fundamentally Vizio TV's are inferior products, while many are good TV's they have a horrific service record. Google around, its not hard to find that their warranty and their service actually ends up costing you more money. Best Buy sells the Insignia brand which Best Buy PAYS to have made for them. This is not a deal where they take defective panels or things like that. Check around to consumer reports they love insiginia espeically in initial quality. Hope this helps. I would strongly advise getting a Insignia TV they are a consumer reports "Best Buy" and typically are wonderful sets.

Who let the dogs out? aka Lessions In Patience

- Day 1 - Friday

Okay to start, don't get me wrong, I LOVE my parents dog, but we had to watch her this weekend and that was an exercise in patience. I show up Friday afternoon with my computer and my toys with the anticipation of a weekend of gaming on my parents 46" LCD TV. First thing I did was run the dog around the house and get her to "do her business". With that out of the way I figured I was in the clear for a few hours. I get the living room all re-arranged, get my self comfortable and sit down to play when I hear my first whimper. Apparently all of that excitement had also powered up Makayla's little bladder. So we go for a short walk, just up the street and back. We do some more business and now I have totally convinced myself that I am good to go. Time to start played some World of Warcraft and enjoying my day off. 

 

I settle into my chair, log into the game and begin to start some of my dailies. I finally had a chance to really enjoy the weekend ahead of me. Well Makayla sensing that I am now playing with something that was not her decides that she wants to play. She gets busy inspecting all of the new things in the house and decided what she should chew on, the cords of my computer. She gets a real kick out of how upset I get when her puppy teeth of doom go near my new computer. Finally she has discovered a new game, get Patrick all upset! So as a try to play video games; talk to the Samsung support guy trying to figure out why the TV won't pump audio out Makayla is chewing on wires.  She eventually settled down and decided to take a nap because she knew she had a long night of keeping me and Tina awake. So Tina gets home from work about 10ish and I prepare Makayla for her long walk. We go out walking around the neighborhood and find out a few things about Makayla that we previously did not know. First, she likes to take one large poo, and then leave little nuggets all over the neighborhood. What this means for the walker like Tina and myself? If she poo's right as you start your walk and you use the little baggie thing right away, don't toss it in the trash! Makayla forces you to carry the bag the entire time. That’s right, carry my poo and if you throw this gift I have given you in the trash, don't fret I can make more! Aren’t puppies fun? Next, Makayla does not like dark gutters, actually she does not like the big drains at all. Those are scary things and should be avoided at all costs. In fact, as a rule, its better to put your butt down and refuse to move until a more acceptable route is found by your walkers. Seriously those things are scary, stay away from them, or force them to drag you kicking and screaming. In addition to this, Makayla likes to play with your head; she has the exact same motion when she reaches down to sniff some debris on the ground as she does when she is ready to deposit her little gifts. We finish the walk and head back to settle down.  As Friday night comes to a close Tina and I cannot decide if she gets caged at night or if she is allowed to run about the room. Well, I figured if she was used to going into a cage at night she would not have protested nearly as much as she was. But, Tina insisted, after 40 minutes of "Whimper, Whimper Whimper" I let her out of the cage and finally we can sleep. Wow, day one was exciting, but with Mom and Dad missing maybe this was just a "settling in period". Ha. I wish. I let her out of the cage, which I would find out later means that I was conned by a dog. 

 

- Day 2 - Saturday

5:00 AM. The whimpering has officially commenced. Tina gets out of bed, lets her outside and comes back about 15 minutes later. Makayla is forced into the cage in hopes that we can get some sleep. Upset at a lack of results 25 minutes later, Makayla settles down to make a new plan to get out of the cage and once again become the center of attention.

6:30 AM.

Makayla: "Whimper, Whimper" I need out of this cage guys "Whimper Whimper"

Patrick: [Half Asleep] "Tina...I think..."

Tina: "Thats impossible she was just outside an hour an a half ago."

Makayla: You think I don't know that? Its SATURDAY morning, cartoons are coming on soon! Let me out! "Whimper Whimper"

Tina: "Alright, I am gonna let her out again, maybe she missed something"

 

Tina leaves early in the morning and I am awoken about 10:30 by more sounds of a desire to leave this cage. So I get up, and let her out. We run around the house, do some more business and go inside for food, drink, and some well needed playtime. I figure that since she didn't sleep much last night she should be overdue for a puppy nap. I was not wrong, but I did severely underestimate how long puppy naps last. Once again I am enjoying playing WoW when the internet reminds me by slowing to a crawl that Makayla needs a walk. So Makayla and I go exploring. We go back into the neighborhood behind my parent’s house. Once here Makalya protests to almost every turn and especially does not like having to leave barking dogs before she has finished her conversation. After about 45 minutes of quality walking time we decide to make our way back to the house. Once there Makayla realizes very quickly that she is being lifted and taken upstairs. Do you know what’s upstairs? THE CAGE! I did a little experiment and hooked up a webcam with a new iPhone app I got so I can spy on her while I am at work. She barks and whimpers as I leave the house, and when I get to work I check back in on her and she has settled down. I think that is a good idea that she has finally relaxed, once again, I failed to realize that this was simply her saving her energy to annoy me. She slept ALL DAY.

 

It was a really nice night and I had seen some houses that I wanted to show Tina during Makayla and my earlier outing. I had picked up some beers on the way home, and was thawing some steaks for me and Tina to enjoy as grilled food is a rare delicacy for her and I. Tina gets home and I tell her that we should take Makayla for a walk so I can show her some of the houses I found. Well once again we discover that Makayla DOES not like dark places and DOES not like going off the beaten path. Tina and I are checking out the back of houses and Makalya was very sure to remind us that "Hey, its really dark back here, you can barely see these houses and you look like cat-burglars shining this flashlight about in dark places. We should leave." Finally the protesting takes a very sit down grass roots approach. She just refuses to go any direction she does not feel is home. She quickly realizes that this will not work; she is not heavy enough for this to work as she would like. If only her uncle had been a Great Dane. But, while in the arms of this silly human she decides grunts, whines, snorts and a good dose of drool would get her point across. Sadly, it worked. We headed home. 

 

On the way home Tina and I are talking about the families dogs when Tina says one of those things that at the time seems really mundane, but later you realize that you prolly should not have uttered. Tina asks me "If these dogs are supposed to be water dogs why does Ben not love the water? Do you think Makayla will enjoy the pool this summer?" Oh Tina, I love you but you really need to watch what you say. Once home I season the "steaks" and head down to fire up the grill and get to making this WONDERFUL dinner. Once down there I fire up the grill and throw the "steaks" on. Realizing that I have left my cooking supplies upstairs I open the downstairs door and yell to Tina "Hey can you get my flipper and a knife?" While I am trying to enunciate the proper message to Tina, Makayla takes this opportunity to run full speed down the stairs across the basement and out the door before I can shut it. Once outside "Keep away has begun!" This is a game that if you have not had the opportunity to play this with Makayla you really should. It's more fun downstairs because on her way across the tarp covering the pool Makayla realizes that if she runs across the pool she makes lots of splashes and gets all wet. Keep away has become "I get wet, and you make a futile attempt to catch me." Makayla loves this game, and is only done playing it when she decides she is done. After her 15th or 16th lap she is soaking wet and Tina has arrived with a towel. Needless to say she was one WET dog. We were able to run her down, dry her off and Tina and I sat down for dinner. Makayla did us the favor of going to sleep to save her energy so that she would be able to bother us all night...or so we thought. After coming in from dinner I find Makayla in the living room MUNCHING down on some glasses. I pick them up, ask Tina if they were her's which she assures me they are not so I set them on the dry sink and head to bed.

 

Unlike the previous night, Tina and I were not about to be conned by a dog. In the cage Makayla went! Well as we lay down to relax more whimpering, but Tina and I were going to keep out resolve strong. Makayla settled down and I passed out.

 

- Day 3 – Sunday

At five am my alarm went off and Tina and I got up to let out the dog. She runs out, does her "duty". I come inside to find Tina holding the glasses from the previous night, "Yeah, these are my glasses...great" Now the neat thing about glasses that I did not know is that the part where they slide your ear holder thing over is actually a sharp metal point. I have an idea on how to fix this dilemma and so at five in the morning I head into the garage, break out the bench grinder and start having my way with Tina’s glasses. I was able to bend them back into shape, put the missing lens back in, and dull the point to a minor stub. While still rather uncomfortable, Tina no longer has to worry about stabbing her skull while putting them on. We head back to bed, and re-cage Makayla. Well the whimpering displays have turned into full blown crying. To the point where were fairly sure (thanks to a handy dandy webcam) that Makayla is enjoying the sound of her own voice. She is belting them across the hall. Out of options, Tina and I move our sleeping arrangements into my old bedroom and get a few more hours of sleep. Thank God! We wake up at about noon and let the dog out. We clean the house, get everything back in order. Take her for one last short walk and pack up to head out to finish our weekend.

 

Despite all that happened, and how difficult everything can be, I have missed the stupid dog all week long. That’s right I said it, I have missed her company, her constant desire to please, and her incessant scheming of new and interesting ways to annoy me.

 

It was a good weekend.

 

Ever ready, are you ready?!

     Okay so I really have not posted in a long time, but as I sit on my break from class I decided that I would go ahead a make a post right quick.  I had a birthday on this past week and I don't think I have ever had a more fun celebration.  I had been looking for something fun to do for a few weeks and ended up deciding on a Japanese restaurant near my house. I don't know if the family has ever had that much fun as a group. The Chef was wonderful, funny, and extremely entertaining.  Every member of the clan that could enjoy it did. It was a wonderful gift to have my parents take the whole clan out.  I really enjoyed the place and I think everyone else would say the same. So looking back at a day like that its hard to imaging my life without the people that love me, and I in return love.  

     Tina decided to go all out for my birthday this year. I ended up getting some really great gifts. My "big" present was an iPhone and a Computer with which to sync it. Both of which I have been lamenting over for months, and rightfully so. I love both of these things. I love being able to twitter and stuff like that very effectively from a mobile device. I use it all the time to look up this and that and the service so far is great. The other gift she got my really sucked, and I mean that in the best possible way. I have really been craving over a Dyson lately because I utterly hated our current vacuum situation. So on Sunday she said that I could run out and get a Dyson as my gift. I 'friggin love that thing. I am not afraid its going to break every time I use it and I don't have to wear a medical mask to avoid my allergies from freaking out on me.  Not to mention she took me to the movies and we saw "Monsters vs. Aliens" in 3D. Tina and I have a history of 3D movies and we loved this one just as much as the others. My parents renewed my registration, got me an iTunes gift card (much needed for the copious amount of apps I am downloading) and some electric salt and pepper shakers. (Woot). Nicole and Jeremy gave me some MUCH needed funds which Tina and I promptly used on movie tickets (THANKS GUYS!) and Nicole and Mike got me an Amex Gift card which Tina and I are most likely going to use on a hot date! (Thanks!). I have felt EXTREMLY loved this birthday and I cannot thank everyone enough. 

So I really love Nicole's Top 10 Tuesday posts so I think I am going to make a 24 Reasons being 24 Kicks ass list. Here it goes.

24 reasons I am so happy about being 24!

24. I am finally in a place in my life where I feel like I belong. I am not ashamed to be me!

23. I really feel loved by my family this Birthday, everyone put ALOT of effort into me!

22. I am one year closer to cheaper insurance!

21. I really have started to understand how to change systems from within, instead of trying to fight the system from the outside. 

20. In a TERRIBLE economy, I have a job. I can't imagine my life without meaningful work.

19. Sorta a part of #20, but I am really enjoying my work for the first time in YEARS.

18. I have literally the best friends in the world. I would be a lot worse off if it were not for them.

17. My car, while old, still runs. Bessie and I have been going strong for 6 years now.

16. While not at the end of the journey called college yet, I am starting to see the light.

15. This may seem petty, but I love my cats, they really are such a part of how much my life kicks ass.

14. Everyone around me is healthy and happy. I am especially grateful for Jax being over 1 year old!

13. I am FINALLY starting to connect with Ethan. 

12. I found a Church I really like again, spiritually I have been lost, but this has given me motivation.

11. I got a new computer. Which is amazing.

10. I am really excited about the next year for so many reasons, but one of which is I draw ever closer to graduation.

9. I think a Third Eye Blind album may come out this year! That would be splendid. 

8. I get to plan a honeymoon this year. Yay exotic vacations! "Are you for Scuba?"

7. I am old enough to rent cars now! (Would have been really handy years ago)

6. Uhh, I have an iPhone. Nuff Said.

5. My friends care so much about me that I got a gazillion Facebook happy birthdays! I could not look at this and not smile. 

4. I am still young enough to be random. I can wake up one morning and decide I want to blow off everything and spend the day being lazy.

3. I am healthy, and I have a roof over my head, I know that a lot of people work hard for that to happen and I am grateful and look forward to being able assist ALOT more this year.

2. I have THE best family in the world, and it will be growing a lot this year as the Doan / Haslup Clan reaches out to the Phillips clan. Yay big families. 

1. I get to count down the days till I marry the most wonderful kick as part about being 24, the person I love the most. I am so 'friggin exited about this that I cannot put it into words. No matter how bad things get, I know that as long as she is a part of my life, I would pull through, and this confidence effects everything while I am 24. I have a busy year ahead of me, but I know Tina's patience, and confidence in my abilities will help me succeed at all of my Endeavours.

Thats all for now!

Don't Ever Change the Way You Are I've Never Loved Anyone More

Well, I guess I can do a real quick update and then possibly get on to what I really wanted to talk about. 

Updates! 

1. I am engaged! Yay! (I am going to try to get Tina to be a guest blogger for me to tell the details)

2. I am in Winter Classes! Yay!

3. I think life is going really well. 

Updates Done!

Okay, so just a little of what I wanted to I talk about. I wanted to mention how lucky I am that I am in a loving realtionship with someone that accepts my faults and my strengths. I am really happy that I am generally growing as a person, I am really starting to like the way I am turning out. I have enjoyed much of these last few months and the couple bad parts have been dealt with. 

Just gonna go with whats on my mind right now, I have been really busy all around. Times are tough and I am starting to feel Tina's strains to make money. I know how hard she is working and I realize how little I am contributing because of my school situation. I know how much she looks forward to the fall when I will also work 1 or 2 jobs. I have sort have been struggling with what I want to do with my degree lately. I thought I wanteded government work, and don't get me wrong, that would be amazing, but given Tina's lack of an ability to get into the government I doubt I have a snowballs chance in hell. I have been thinking about teaching for a few years ALOT lately. I know there is not alot of money in it, but hopefully President Obama may do something to effect this. I think I would have alot of fun teaching high school history and making students really fall in love with the parts of history that I have enjoyed so much. I have someone close to me ask me, besides the money what other objections do I have to teaching, I was unable ot respond. I laughed it off at the time, but it got me thinking. 

Lets see, other than that life is fairly boring. I have so much I want to talk about but I really just lack the time. 

I want to do a post about fish later this week. We'll see.

A Christmas to Remember Pt. 1

Well, today has been just one day for the memories. Hence, why I decided to write about it. Its so very rare that I get to share good memeories, stuff that will have an impact on the rest of my life that I need to take the chance to remember all of it. So now that its Christmas Eve (4:22 am) I will go ahead and give you a blow by blow. 

Day started out sleeping in late. Tina gave me her bed again and I took advantage of this to mean that I should enjoy the use of such a commidity.  Alan was in rare form when he woke up and I had to put up with his ADD going bonkers. Its okay though. I know that he only does it becuase he wants to fit in. Tina and I then went out shopping, I acually enjoyed this. We found some GREAT presents. Also, picked up a few really fun things for us. (I mean a GIANT cupcake is hard to ignore).  We ended up going to Best Buy, TJMaxx, TGI Fridays for a short respis, then some beauty store, Wal-Mart and JCPenny. JCPenny was terrible, we went there to pick up a quilt for Ingrid (Tina's Mom) and we get to the desk that says "Customer Service", where we wait in a 10 minute line. We finally reach the desk when we hand the not so enthusastic employee looks at the reciept and says "Oh, well you need to be at customer service." We inform this obviously mistaken employee that we are indeed at the Customer Service desk and point out the large sign abover her head. I kid you not, she turns around, reads it, and then says "oh well I meant catalog" It was insane. Shopping was alot of Fun. I enjoyed being with Tina and having fun with her. But the day had to continue. Alas, there were more things to do, some of vast importance.

Well, I came home after talking to Tina and we begin to have dinner. Sweedish Meatballs. Yummy! A+ Mrs. Phillips. After that we picked up Laurie and then headed to bowling. After some shenanigians at the liquor store we make it to bowling. I don't have ANY of my stuff so I bowl horribly. Oh well, it was not about doing well, it was about having fun. Sadly, My stressed out upset stomach would not allow me to enjoy the bowling too much, for after dinner I asked Mr. Phillips if we could talk and he obliged stating that we could talk after bowling. I had suddenly gotten overcome with the most nervous events of all my life. I was about to ask one of the most militaristic men I had ever met if I could marry is daughter. Wow, I was really nervous. So anyways bowling ends and Mr. P says "Your riding with me right?" I confirm his inquiry and we go ahead of shove off. Well after some required small talk about bowling and the weather we get down to business.

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 Well, were in the car and at this point I am fairly sure that the shaking is becuase of nerves not the cold. I mention that I did not specifically ask him for a private metting to shoot the breeze. I ask him if he would grant me his blessing in asking Tina for her hand in Marriage. I mean this was a big step. A smirk and a tear come across his face and he prefaces with reminding me that he has some questions for me first. We talk for about an hour and a half over some coffee at a local coffee place. We have a really good talk, but I am extremly nervous. I hate situations like that, I hate feeling vunerable. But I am able to calm my shakes and we have a really good conversation. It was really nice, he asked me to do a few things for him (which I have been doing) and we get back in the car.  Then finally towards the end of the car ride he agree's and gives me his blessing /phew!

It was a really nice conversation and we enjoyed the heck out of the rest of the night. We went out with Laurie and Ashley and consumed copious amounts of alcohol. 

All and All, a really good night. I got alot closer to Chuck and I got a much better understanding of what makes that man "tick". 

Dallas Cowboys Week 5 Thoughts

-=The Bengals=-
Okay, here is my opinion on that game. The first thing you need to consider is the 'boys were playing a team with literally nothing to loose. the Bengals needed a win to save their season and were willing to do anything to get it. The surprise onside kick, and their overall confidence in their team shined in the fourth quarter. 

-=The Cowboys=-
That said, the Cowboys seem to have lost their "swagger" as it was called last season. This seems like a team that is really not interested in playing the regular season and is almost just going through the motions till the post season. Its fair to say at this point the the NFC East will send three teams into the playoffs again this year. Right now, the team just seems content to linger in the middle of the division knowing that even third place equals a playoff run. 

-=What we learned from the last game=-
The last game we played I feel we learned a lot about ourselves. In the third quarter it seemed as if Tony Romo had decided to take himself out of the game mentally and was sitting on the sideline alone. He was not interacting and had almost resigned to defeat. The loss to the Redskins was still lingering. What happened next was amazing. I think about half way through the third Jason Witten was shown talking to TO and someone else, and they were joking, and getting ramped up. Now, all I saw was Jason talking, so I don't know who started that conversation, but from that point on we looked like the Cowboys everyone expects us to be. We learned that we can depend on our team leaders to rally morale back. This is so vital to being a good team. In my opinion, Hats off to that conversation. 

-=In Conclusion=- 
Were a great team, with a great record, who is mentally unsure of itself after two heartbreaking post season losses in a row. I think that our leaders on both sides of the ball need to step up and put some confidence and some swagger back in our play. We are Americas team and we need to learn that you cannot at any point take the 60 minutes of regulation play forgranted. 

Love is watching someone die

This weekend sucked. There you know know how I feel about my post today. It all started Thursday. I found out that my teacher was not going to be at class and that a TA was just going to be collecting our reading responses so I decided to just turn it in and go hang out with Tina and Mom. After a great lunch with Mom at Olive Garden Tina and I decided to go ahead an assemble a DVD rack that we had bought months ago because we were being taken over by the loose DVD's in the house. Right before assembling the DVD rack I decide that our fish tanks were all running a little low on water and that Tina and I should do some water changes. We do all of our tanks except my big tank and as the tank is draining / filling Tina and I decide to go to work on the DVD rack.

Well, I forgot to add dechlorination to our tank as I was refilling it and as Tina and I are finishing the rack we stand it up and I realize that all of my fish are on the bottom breathing really heavy and not eating or moving. Well just then Corey Woo shows up and in the whirlwind that is Corey basically tries to reassure me that my fish are fine and to pay attention to him. I realized my error and added the dechlornator right then but, it was too late, damage had been done. I couldn't find anything on the internet about what to do, so I add some stress coat, and I convince myself to just give them some time. We head out to our usual Thursday Spot, The Thirsty Turtle for .25 cent night. Well, we were running a little late, and I guess the word has gotten out about this little deal and the line was down past potbellies. Prolly like 1,000 people in this line, so after not moving for five minutes Tina and I decided to just go home.

I get home and the fish are not doing better, and I find one dead fish. Apparently, when I was filling THAT tank, none of the others, a really chlorine heavy batch of water decided to come into that tank and chlorine burned the gills of all of my fish. That combined with my absence of mind with the dechlornator, equaled really bad things. I get online and find out that this is a lot like being in a room full of smoke, its not impossible to breath, but very hard. Stay in the smoke too long, and you die. I got on the forums and thankfully some of the people in there had some advise, which I could have done hours earlier, but had to wait for the replies. I added some Melafix and some salt to the tank, along with every air stone in the house in an attempt to evaporate all the bad stuff. and find my first dead fish. One of my sub dominant Saulosi had died in the mess. I watch the tank for a few more hours when I find my second dead fish, one of my yellow labs. The worst part about loosing this fish, I had grown him from a fry. Tina and I decide that were going to pull all the rocks out of the tank in the morning and see where we stand.

Well, Friday morning comes and we find another a saulosi who is really struggling. We remove him from the main tank and put him into our medical tank. Add the same medication to that tank, and cover it for complete darkness. By this point the tank is looking really cloudy. What I come to find out is the chlorine also destroyed all my de-nitrifing bacteria.

WARNING SCIENCE CONTENT.
This is the nitrogen cycle. Fish waste and uneaten food become Ammonia, this Ammonia becomes Nitrites which get broken down by beneficial bacteria into Nitrates, these Nitrates are removed by Water Changes. Well, apparently, I killed all of my good bacteria and the tank became over crowded with this bad bacteria, which make the tank cloudy, and smelly. Well I add this stuff that is made in Glen Burnie which jump starts the bio-cycle and pray.

Saturday comes and I wake up to a dead Saulosi, he just couldn't overcome the burns. When I go to work the tank is really cloudy and I get even more depressed. Finally Saturday night I get my first good news, the tank is clearing up nicely. Finally, some good news. I needed this, I was really upset about the fish. Tina had put a lot of the rocks back in and did a head count, so far everyone that was left was still alive.

Skip to today, I go to school at 9AM, get home at 9PM and my little fish (who I raised from a fry) who I had not seen in a few days, dead and being sucked into a filter. Lucky everyone else, including my new fry, are doing much better. Little Miss, one of my labs, was holding, but in all the stress her fry died, and she spit it out. So if you include that little guy, 3 labs, and 2 Saulosi. The only other ray of sunshine is that the tank is looking really decent and I think everyone is gonna make it.

This weekend sucked. But this blog is about fish. Sometimes this happens, but you have to realize that its not all bad. I get a lot of happiness from these guys. Just have to re-build.

Burning bridges is a form of suicide

Okay, let’s see all the things that have been going on. Since my last post I have done a lot of things. I finished three of my five classes and I feel I did pretty well. I have all three of the grades back right now and I have two A's and a C. My C grade was in Spanish, a very hard subject at the University of Maryland. I have really, really, enjoyed my classes over the summer. I took a FANTASTIC history of Films Noir with Greg Metcalf. I really enjoyed seeing some of the older movies, and I loved the way he presents the information in a clear and concise manner. We would watch a film, and then he would say something like "Imagine everything that the main character told you was a lie..." It would literally just blow your mind. My other class was about 20th Century History through film, and we watched some of the greatest war films of all times. If you guys have not seen Stop Loss yet you should really consider it.

I was also able to go see The Dark Knight this weekend and I absolutely loved it. I really appreciated the Noir-esk aspect of the film and the direct statements that it made about society. I really really was infatuated with the way that it embraced Neo-Noir as not only a genre but a style. Classical Noir Films challenged the assumption that society was perfect, they instead showed the darker aspect that was the reality and that evil existed. Now that films focus on the darker aspect of society, The Dark Knight chooses to focus on how society is not doomed and how good people still exist. The film all around was very politically charged, while at the same time delivering a profound statement. I will hopefully see it again, in an environment where I can take notes, and want to post a complex analysis of the content of the film. I also don't want to ruin it for anyone.

Well, I will continue with some things regarding my life. I guess I can share a little about my life. Tina and I found a new place to live! It's in Laurel and it’s a two bedroom that will allow us to separate different aspects of our lives. I.e. we will be able to have and Office / Fish Room, and a Bedroom, and a living room! We will hopefully close two days before I am done with classes and I'll have about a week to get us moved and everything set up. I have been busy picking pretty much everyone I know for ideas regarding the transport of my current apartment. I think that I may rent a U-haul, but we'll see. I really appreciate everyone offering to help (as pretty much everyone has).

Since this blog is ALSO about fish, I feel I must mention them. I bought/traded for a community of Ps. Saulosi. Right now my fish are just Juvies, but when the reach maturity they will look much like this. They are considered a dwarf Mbuna and only the dominant male gets the color seen in the photo. The females and the non-dominant males are yellow in color. They are some of the most curious fish I have even seen EVER. When I put my hand in the tank to move things around they are constantly biting my arm just to see what’s going on. It’s been a joy watching them get a little bigger and start some of the interesting behaviors. They were discovered by Ad Konings in 1989 (yes that’s a correct date) by accident. He was diving in Lake Malawi when he stopped to clear his ears at 7 meters, he looked at the rock right in front of him and swimming in the current he found this species as he struggled to stay where he was. He named it after one of the native Africans who was helping him and the fish been in the hobby as a favorite since. It’s amazing how they tend to exhibit this same behavior in the aquarium at my house. They REALLY enjoy swimming in the current and are always very happy to see me. My dominant male looks kind of funny right now, he has yellow on his tail and a blue and black body.

I will conclude with the other fish I have recently bought for one of my smaller tanks. 'Lamprologus' stappersii' or the Pearly Occellatus. This is a small shell-dweller from the littoral environment of Lake Tanganyika. They move and defend their shells as if they were little homes. In fact, I guess that makes sense. They do actually use the shells as their little houses. I have been unable to get any good pictures of mine yet, but I will have to satisfy you with a funny story. This weekend I was doing some of my maintenance on my tanks and I was adding some rocks to it when I got the shock of my life! This fish, which tops out 2.5”, had gotten so mad that I was within 6 inches of his home that he had bit me!!! I literally dropped what I was moving hit my hand on the top of the tank as I pulled my hand out, got water literally EVERYWHERE and tended to my wounds. I never would have that the fish would have bit me. I know I talked about the Saulosi nibbling on my fingers, but they do it because they want to know if I am food, this guy was defending his shell(s). It was hysterical, Tina and I laughed for like 10 minutes. Needless to say, I may be more careful next time I do that.

Also, this Sunday Tina and I were at Ikea and we found this AMAZING four post bed and Mom graciously offered to help us out with cash because our beds had been on the floor since last year and its wonderful. We put curtains around it and its just been so great to sleep on. I've really enjoyed being able to shut the curtains and take a nap in peace. I really like the bed, and it was a steal at the price we payed. Thanks Mom!!! This Sunday was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed seeing everyone.

I'm too tired to play pretend, I suffociate until the end.

Well lets see, since mostly everyone that reads this now is family looking to pry into my life and make half informed assumptions about my daily feelings I guess I need to post a disclaimer. As far as this blog is concerned this is a place where I want to be able to feel safe without having to tell everyone a week later "Yes, I'm fine, I just use the blog to vent don't read into it" I mean I don't mind my family reading it, but realize that I don't write in my blog because I am happy. As far as my life is concerned Happiness writes white.

**PATRICK IS HAVING A DOWN DAY**

Lets start with my borderline idiotic decision to take summer classes. I am three days into my summer of hell. I go to school 6 hours a day, and I am still trying to figure out how I am going to be able to work. I no longer have any time to play video games with my brothers and that will lead to one of two things, me being excluded from the "group" or me pushing myself even harder, both terrible options as far as my social life is concerned. I really enjoy playing with Jeremy but he always feels the need to become the most important person in any situation and frankly I cannot keep up. Possibly, he is reflecting is own insecurities that I just do not feel the need to address, or possibly he just likes to be in charge, but I grow more unamused every passing day. I mind has well just adapt to playing alone and go find a game that my computer can handle and that I really enjoy. The really frustrating part is the massive workload school has put upon me. I really want to get out, but is the juice worth the squeeze?
I am still adapting to my new schedule, I must be in bed by 11 or 12 pm (3 to 4 hours earlier than I am used to) or I am unable to concentrate for six hours of daily learning, which is extremely difficult. While as far as classes go these are some of my more enjoyable classes to date. I enjoy both my TA (who desperately tries to teach me Spanish) and my Professor who teaches my Film Noir Special Topic in Archeology class. The hard part for me is having to get up at 8 am, so I can be to school by 9:30 and then grabbing an hour for lunch before I like some mindless drone head back to class till 4:30. At that point its back to apartment to try to get some, if any relaxation before I must push myself to sleep so I can continue the battle tomorrow. I know that for most people reading this (yes, hello family) your used to your 9-5 jobs but you also have weekends off, and nights, and for the most part holidays. I will receive none of these luxuries that you all take for granted. So when you feel the need to remind me, like you so often do, that I have it so easy remember these luxuries.
Following school I come home, lately its almost as if Tina has decided she just can't cook edible food (that isn't cookies or pudding) so has stopped trying. The last two days I have had to come home and cool full meals. Monday night it was sloppy joe's and last night it was Jambalaya. I dunno, I had just barely gotten to sit down before she was nagging bout her hunger. While I commiserated and agreed with the pains in her stomach I was exhausted. When I don't feel like cooking we eat out, and she bitches about money. I dunno. Its just really annoying that today on my break from class I was planning dinner, I mean it really sucks, a lot.
I just wish I was in the middle of a care free summer of playing video games and relaxing, its such a shame that I did not realize last summer that it would be my last care-free summer or I would have told work to fuck off and I would have done more. I want to be out of school but days like today I honestly doubt that I have the gas left in the tank, and its only Wednesday. I hope that when I update my blog a few months from now I laugh about this, but frankly, that prospect looks more bleak every passing hour.

For today I will leave on a song, that I have been listening to on repeat almost all day.

Motion City Soundtrack - Last Night

I'm still frustrated from last night
Things happened at half-time, I'm sick of the bends
My panic research was no help
I sink into myself
Afraid of the fall that never ends
I wait, but I'm too tired to play pretend
I suffocate until the end

No time for halfhearted goodbyes,
I turn on the spotlight and flee from the scene
Cheap flights from Paris to Bangkok, I thought it was nonstop
Can't sleep on the KLM again
I haunt the halls of medicine at night
Choking back the urge to fight

Her cat was clawing the floorboards just outside of our door,
The panic begins
I searched the whole damn apartment from ceiling to carpet
No sign of the things she used to own
As autumn turns its back on me again
I climb the walls for oxygen

My body aches, it heaves, it shakes
All summer sounds so caught up
And I still don't know exactly who I am
I never will, amen.

She whispers something in my ear, the message is unclear
She motions outside.
I trail her closely from behind
She tries hard not to cry
She shakes underneath the pouring rain

I can't compete with all your damn ideas
This isn't working out for you and me
The truth is I'm too tired to play pretend

This is goodbye, this is the end.

---------------------------------------------------------

I bolded my favorite lines.

Late at Night, at the Laundry Mat,

...And I'm staring at people and clothes in the dryers......and I'm wondering, how I got here, (3eb reference) I guess I just needed to share my feelings today, its been kind of rough. We'll start from the beginning, this morning.
Typical work day, 11:00-7:30 for a whopping total of eight hours of work. Besides the fact that for the most part right now I despise my job, I had been having a rather good day. I woke up, got some breakfast (unusual for me) and then decided to head to work. I left a little late, but I was able to actually get to work five minutes early. I then clocked in and began my meaningless wandering. I talked to my Sup, about meaningless pitter, and then had to talk to my manager about even more meaningless pitter. I was strolling through home theater after having a less than ideal customer interaction in Computers. As far as that situation is concerned I ended up selling just a computer to a customer and in my defense, thats all he needed, but they were bitching about me on the radio. Anyways I was strolling through home theater when I was blinded by my Ex, and her family who wanted to purchase a TV. I ended up having to talk to her for quite awhile and while I really enjoyed talking to her, it made me feel like shit. I don't really know why. I mean, for to most part we ended amicably, but I guess it is one of those situations where first loves die hard. I guess the hard part about talking to her is that when we talk about old times, I never remember the bad stuff, I remember only the good. I told Tina about this but we'll discuss that later.
Next, about three hours later my parents came in, and they are entertaining the idea of purchasing an HDTV. I know this will most likely never happen, because their current system is so old and out of date it all needs to be replaced. I dunno, I guess the reason I really want them to get this is it means that my dad and I get to work on a project again. I love working with my dad and I really hate the fact that Tina does not seem to enjoy my family lately. While I know this is ENTIRELY hypocritical, I miss hanging out with them. I guess after that the end of my shift was fairly normal, I avoided managers for about two hours and then went home. (Although, I was able to get one really good customer interaction good and that kinda got me beaming).
I decided since our laundry really needed to be done, that I would go ahead and do it, I ended up having to pick up some supplies and I got another set of Shure se-210's. SUPER nice headphones that got lost with Tina's last Ipod.
I ended up going into College Park to take Tina's break with her. It was nice, her co-workers really seem to like me, even though sometimes it seems as if they are laughing at me and not with me. I told Tina about the Kristen interaction and her reply was very predictable..."You still love her" and then I spend the rest of the conversation backpedaling becuase for some reason Tina and I cannot talk about Kristen like adults, she always ends up saying "You still love her" and getting very defensive. I hate that.
Just had an amazing realization, while watching the laundry in the dryer I realized I feel like that about life ALOT. There are these fantastic colors going around and around and I watch them with awe realize sometimes my life just goes round and round as I ride the colors.
At the laundry mat I got on WoW and that really depressed me because I found out that Piccalow and Tanthalas had quit my guild, I got them in last week and I thought that we had showed them a good time, so I am really gonna miss those guys. I need to figure out what I am going to do now. It sucks.

Trust no one thats the one thing that I've learned cause the world darkens around me...

I'll try to keep you posted more.

Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas, yeah whatever

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas is
You... yea yea

I despise the holidays, Tina leaves, work BLOWS, and I am now all alone. Fucking fantastic.

A Brief but Belated Update

Hello to everyone out there, so many things have happened how do I begin to explain them? We'll start where I left off, with my home issues. Well I am adapting very well to my new surroundings, I have started calling my apartment home and I think when I made that mental step to changing what I felt was home I felt much better. I almost miss this grungy apartment when I am not here.

Holidays..bleh
Well as many of my close friends know during the holidays I usually act more like the Grinch or Scrooge than Santa or Rudolph but I am starting to realize what my harsh realities of the Christmas season are, my girlfriend who without I am lost leaves for a month to see her family. This basically means that for a month I am lost to the world. I wish that I could for just one Christmas get that phone call from her on Christmas saying "Merry Christmas...I'm Outside" I just think that no amount of presents in the world could even come close to the gift of the one I love. She often says that I should come to her on Christmas but I don't think she realizes how much deep down inside I still believe. Not necessarily in Santa and flying reindeer but the idea of a Christmas Miracle. I mean to most people the holidays mean Family, Togetherness, Love and Joy. To me the holidays are hellish amounts of work, being alone, and desperately wishing that my life is different. I dunno.

SCHOOL
School is just another one of those things, its been so impossibly hard this semester, I really think I did rather poorly and hope that most of my grades don't post until after Christmas so I can say Happy New Year I'm on Academic Suspension and not Merry Christmas I flunked. Fuck this sucks. I am just so ready to be done with all that tension and drama. I want to wake up and be able to go to work come home and have that be all, I hate having to constantly tell myself, "Oh You can have 3 hours of peace here and then after 6 hours of hell you can be rewarded with another 30 minutes here." I just want to get to the point where I can relax.

Love Life
Well that is just a fish of a different color and is the one thing that I am succeeding at in my life. Thank God for that. I am deeply in love with the woman of my dreams and I despise everything in my life that she is not a part of. I desperately hope to one day marry her.

Fish, My Obsession and Constant Joy:
Okay, I may have fudged a little, I am also having GREAT success with my fish! I now have seven fish tanks in the apartment, 55g, 40g, two 20g, two 10g, and a 2g for Marvin. I have also increased from African Cichlids to South American with the Addition of 3 Convicts and an Oscar who is growing so fast I have no Idea what to do! (Its okay, it was expected when I bought him I wanted a "Monster Fish". Gonna need to get him a 75g at some point next year. Don't quite know where I am gonna put it but oh well. I have actually gotten about 50 fry from my African Cichlids which are growing and looking amazing. Gonna have to get rid of them soon though. Oh well, I hope they get a good home. The picture your looking at are one of my breeding pairs of convicts. Their an amazing.



I did say that this was going to be brief so I am going to leave a quote and a prayer...

Prayer: Lord, Grant me the strength to get through my life over the next few years and to realize your hope and vision for me. Please protect those that are so dear to me and give them health and happiness. In your name, Amen.

Quote:
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
I've a lot of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I'm ashamed bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late, I'm already torn.
-Natalie Imbruglia


P.S. Gonna be an Uncle 2X! Tina's gonna be an aunt 1x and the Dallas Cowboys are (as of right now) 11-1!!!!!!!

An odd feeling...

This semester has been really weird for me, there are so many things that just don't seem to fit right. I used to love school and get really excited about going but now I am so focused on the fact that its impossibly hard that I almost don't enjoy it anymore. The other thing that I do not understand is why I sometimes feel so entirely depressed. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that I am moving into a new stage in my life and having a hard time coping with the new realities that are my life. I am living with my girlfriend now, this apartment, these walls are my home. Thats actually something thats really hard for me because while I did not live at home last year I never considered "The View" home. Home is where your family is, and for the first time in my life, my family is in a tiny apartment in College Park. It may sound like I am bitching but right now I feel almost torn in my life, when I work in Columbia I sometimes really want to stay the night there, but when I do its just a harsh reminder of how things have changed. I guess I am also having a hard time adapting my my new time schedule, some of the things that I used to love I no longer get to do and I cannot decide if I don't do them becuase Tina is around or of I don't do them becuase I don't want to. I miss my friend on WoW horribly, they always talk about how they want me back and the sad realization is that when I stopped playing, for what ever reason, I lost 20 friends, that sucks. Oh well I gotta get ready to go, I'll try to write some tomorrow night.

Good things, and bad luck.

Hello again, just wanted to give you a quick re-cap of the last few days. Tina and I were able to go ahead and sign a lease on an apartment. That was a mess, we had a hard time getting the money orders and signing took forever. Right before that Tina and I got a kitten we named Gus. I really like the apartment, its a really nice place and it seems like a place I'll be much happier in. I really want to be done with school right now. The kitten is amazing, I love how he really likes to be loved, and seems to enjoy my company. Can't talk long, I have work. Hope to write more soon.

Sorry about the last two days...

Okay, sorry about the last two days, been really hectic. Lets start off yesterday morning. I woke up at about 9:00 AM and looked at the clock, looked at my phone, and decided that I must have set my alarm to 9:15 because I had 9:45 work. I then begin to dream again. I have a dream that I wake up late, and I start to rush out of the house. In my panic I realize that its raining and I am not moving very quickly. I start to drive out of my neighborhood and I see a really fat guy on a stool. His gut is gigantic and he is talking to me in a language that I do not understand. I then finally get to work and my boss comes up to me and says "You're alarm did not go off." I then wake up from my dream and realize, holy shit I have 5 minutes to get to work. I rush downstairs grab some granola bars, and slam out of the door. No rain, no fat guy, same response from my boss. It was really really creepy. Really creepy *shudder*.

Tina was able to make it into MD yesterday and that made me really happy. I love being around her. She stopped off in Lancaster and went to t "That Fish Place" where she picked me up another blue cichlid. She also picked me up another blue moon light, and then drove here. It was really fun, she was lost so I was giving her directions via Google Maps and I was using the hybrid view so I was like "Get ready to see a baseball field on your left" and I'll be damned if there was not a baseball field on her left. She arrived home and we headed back out, I have been wanting to re-do my babies tank and so we headed to Petco! We ended up spending a bit of money on a "Python - No Spill" but its money well spent. Allows me to do my Sunday water changes without ever having to use a bucket. Its amazing, we re-did the baby tank and so far everyone is doing okay. I am a little worried about our orange baby fish because I do not see him eat often, but as I am typing this I look over and he is chowing down. The tank looks like the "new hotness". I am in love with it. Doing fishtanks with Tina is always funny, I have these really great ideas in my head of how things should look. I can explain it to other people, but for some reason I am unable to manifest the images in my brain into something real. She is really really good at seeing whats in my head, and actually using her hands to create it. I knew I wanted this black substrate, I wanted multi levels, but I am really bad at making that happen she embraced it and the tank looks WONDERFUL.

Lets move forward. I got into work today and we were playing volleyball. It was awesome. I had some problems with the geek squad today, but not a big deal, got home started looking at stuff for Tina, write more later.

Had a rough night...

...I had a really rough night...

It started at work when we were really busy. I was coming back from helping a customer and was generally in a fairly good mood. I started talking to a customer about the cheapest laptop we sell and he was wondering about putting XP on it. Suddenly I was approached by another customer who was fuming because he had been waiting for almost twenty minutes. I kindly told him that I was assisting someone and that I was sorry for any confusion that had happened and asked him if he would just wait for a minute and I would be more than happy to help him. He then replied to me that if I did not help him in the next five minutes "I would know who he was...". I mean what the hell, its about a damn laptop. Get over yourself. Thank God Joe started helping him and the guy ended up not even being able to pay for it. My customer got pissed off and left, and thank goodness the night ended quickly.


...later


I am getting ready to crawl into bed when I notice one of my labidochromis caeruleus (yellow labs) playing up around the power head that I just got yesterday. I then notice something that appears to be yellow that I did not notice yesterday. Turns out one of my fish must have gotten stuck to the intake valve on the filter and died. I was on the phone with Tina when I noticed it and now I feel that she is upset with me because the new "toy" I bought killed one of our fish. This sucks. I ordered a part that should fix this but its just really hard to imagine the poor fish (who was amazingly beautiful) and dying stuck to that filter. This is all really my fault. I have a system in place but this is just the first Cichlid I have lost and it was not something that I could not control. This was my fault, and now to Tina I feel like a failure.

Good quote

VI VERI VENIVERSUM VIVUS VICI

"By the power of Truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe"